Am I Not Pretty Enough (to donate to)?
Come for the Martin. Stay for the Veres.
Previously, our heroes ventured into the bizarre and perilous Mystery Tier in search of generous donors, and in doing so we’ve managed to bring our total contributions to over $600. We lost a few nameless interns along the way, but hey, you gotta admit that’s pretty good!
Right now, though, we’re still a long way from our goal. We’ve journeyed to the sun and into the mysterious unknown, but we’ve still come up short. So now, it is with a heavy heart that I declare we must press on to that most dastardly of destinations – human vanity. I hope you’re wearing some warm underwear, because it’s time to flatter your pants off.
Every time I look at you, anonymous potential donor, I can’t help but think how pleasant and charming you are. You are a delight. Your opinions are so humorous and insightful. You make my heart go snap! crackle! and pop! You’re also very, very pretty.
That actually reminds me of something. Do you have $45 to donate to us? It’d sure be swell of you to support literature and the arts in the South Coast. That sounds like something an all-round amazing human being like yourself would do! If you do, we’ll give you back something pretty good in return – a signed copy of one of four books by Ron Pretty, poetry extraordinaire. Your choice of book, obviously, but I’m sure you’ll pick the right one for you, because you always make such informed decisions.
That’s Creating Poetry (2015), What the Afternoon Knows (2013), Of the Stone (2000), or Seeking Horizons (2014), signed by the man himself, for the bargain basement price of $45. Pretty good? Pretty amazing, more like it! That’s $45! It’s a veritable Ronapalooza! How can you say ‘no’ to that face? Get it now, while stocks last!
You’ll helps us out, right? I mean, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to… I just thought, y’know, you were pretty cool, and you’d be into this kind of thing. Not many people are doing it so, if you did, you’d kind of be, like, a trendsetter. That’d be kind of neat, huh? But don’t let me sway you. This is all entirely up to you. Wonderful, perfect, generous, selfless you. You’re so great!
Stay tuned for more updates.
Written by SCWC
Posted on August 14, 2016